A couple weeks ago I had a fun conversation with a friend of mine. Rachel is from Uganda and works somewhere in my building as a grant accountant. Having been in the US a couple years, she has an interesting perspective combined with that blunt East African charm I discovered when I visited in 2001.
"Bryan, you crossed the line!" she spouted, jokingly. This was in reference to my marriage to my Fru, who is Filipino. "Actually, it's ok," she said. "I'm thinking about trying some other colors too." You have to have the accent there for full impact.
We noted some issues that Black Americans have, and that African Americans have (there's a difference). We noted that certain Black islander communities seem to have somehow escaped these problems, and we wondered why. I gave her my running routine about how I'm opposed to any relationship--or anything else, for that matter--that adds stress to my life, no matter how conventional it is. She noted that dating interracially was not without its own share of stressors.
And then she knocked me back with a statement: "You know, I think that mixed couples are a bigger issue here than in Uganda."
Really? How could you figure? It's a completely African culture, and she admitted that there are problems as small as which tribe you are affiliated with when it comes to meeting and mating. So to hear that statement puzzled me and confused her as well.
After talking about it a bit more we came to the theory that because the country is largely people of one background, everyone has to come to terms with one issue. Sure there are people who disapprove, even despise it, but after that it's done. It's just a matter of preference.
On the other hand, the United States is a complete mix of backgrounds. We face more than just tradition. Subcultures within the US are constantly battling with relevancy. Am I Mexican or am I American? Am I black or am I African? Am I Native American? Am I just a native American? Am I white or Italian? The confusion continues, and each interracial couple is another whack at the walls which define us.
And before you cheer, remember that if those walls completely erode, then no one will have any past heritage to share. Does my history really begin when the slave ships arrived at the continent? Does your history end with you when your child has two ancestral lines which have no relation to the life they live today? Confusion continues.
For this reason, we theorized that there would be a bigger issuer around mixed couples in the US until the country came to some sort of universal consensus about who we are and how we approach our culture. Until then, confusion continues.
What about Korea? Do you think it supports or disputes this argument?